Avoid “theme” outfits. Take Damien’s Rule—no shiny shirts—as if it were gospel. If your tie is the same hue as your shirt, think harder. And for God’s sake, no white ties on black shirts—don’t reduce yourself to an ornament. Remember gents: style can be understated.

Le Noeud Papillon Navy & White Piping Pocket Square

“ The rose is a folding system I learnt from Alexander S. Kabbaz, the maker of Gordon Gecko’s shirts in Wall Street, but you really need to see this one to do it well. ”

Pencil-thin skinny ties. Horrible sunglasses. They’re so bad we dedicated a whole damned number to ’em. Commit either sin, and you’ll only be a notch above the drunk under-agers. And they have ignorance as an excuse.

Sometimes, you can get it all right: you arrive polished and handsome as hell. But don’t be the schmuck that blows it. Really, don’t be either of these guys.

The Guy: Thinks throwing on some wrap-around shades, untucking his shirt, ditching his jacket, and undoing a top button will make him a social and sexual juggernaut.

Why he’s lame: Grown men realise that fun and revelry come in shades more discreet than Sloppy Larrikin. Keep dignified, get merry.

The Guy: The other end of the spectrum. The kind of man who suits up immaculately, then proceeds to carry an apathetic, vapid stare for the rest of the day. Because, y’know, he’s a cool guy.

Why he’s lame: Twinkle-toeing around the races, slinking around the corners and communicating exclusively through a rugged squint won’t make you James Dean. We promise. Socialise. Share memories. Hell—make memories. Don’t let the clothes wear you.